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About Intimacy

What is your understanding of the the word intimacy? Most people would say that intimacy is related to sexuality, sex and passion.

Partly the answer is correct. A part of intimacy is certainly sexuality, passion and sex.

However, intimacy is something much greater and deeper.

Intimacy is the ability to surrender to another person, to grow absolute mutual trust, to discover our deepest, darkest and most hidden places with a person with whom we feel we can be real. Bloody under the skin. Absolutely honest.

Being intimate with someone means daring to express yourself in all your colors and shades. Light, dark and all the shades in between. Being intimate means courage to express your truth without fear of consequences. Being intimate means trusting that you are safe, accepted and loved exactly as you are.

Being intimate in a relationship requires courage to take off your mask. Even the one we sometimes put on in front of ourselves.

Getting intimate is a strategy used by a narcissist to lure the victim under its wing. For the narcissist deep, sincere emotions without lies, pretense, lying, and distorting the truth do not exist. He has no access to them. However, being skilled in manipulation, he uses intimacy - sexuality very skillfully as the tool of pathological attachment to himself.

By »jumping into bed« quickly, achieving a false sense of boundless and timeless connection between the two person is easy for him. With the addition of a few sweet words, the person is soon fascinated and convinced of doom. Narcissist usually have a very strong ability to control others by manipulating their sexual energy. Consequently many victims remain in a narcissistic relationship precisely because of sexual addiction.

This kind of “intimacy” seems anything but abusive at the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Dream lover appears as »the one« a person has been waiting for their whole life. Attentive, loving, devoted. Unconditional and boundless giving of oneself.

It is exactly what narcissist’s plan is.To present itself in the light of a divine being.

Consequently, when one of the partners is a narcissist, sooner or later signs of sexual abuse start to arise. The source of life energy begins to slowly but chronically dry up in the victim. There is less and less joy and an influx of healthy energy declines, feeling of emptiness and exhaustion appears.

Physical signs that indicate an unbalanced state of energy, such as chronic lack of energy, tension, avoidance of the partner's proximity, desire for sexual intimacy with the partner disappears, diseases of the genitals and internal organs often occur.

The consequences of this "doom" are known to all who have ever fallen into the narcissistic trap.